Four Mystery Plays
GA 14
The Guardian of the Threshold
Scene 4
A cheerful pink room in the home of Strader and his wife Theodora. One notices by the arrangement that they use it as a room in common, where they carry on their various work. On his table there are mechanical models; on hers things to do with mystic studies. The two are holding a conversation which shows that they are absorbed in the fact that it is the seventh anniversary of their wedding day.
Strader:
'Tis seven years to-day since thou becam'st
The loved and dear companion of my life
And also unto me a source of light,
Which shone upon a life which formerly
Was threatened only with approaching dark.
In spirit-life I was a starving man
When thou didst first stand at my side and give
That which the world had aye withheld from me.
For long years had I striven earnestly
To probe the depths of science with my mind
To find the worth of life and goal of man.
One day I clearly had to recognize
That all this striving had been quite in vain,
For thou didst show me that man's spirit seeks
How to reveal itself through certain things
Which shunned my knowledge and my eager thought.
I met thee then amidst that company
Where Benedictus was the guide of all,
And listened to thy revelations there.
Later I saw how in Thomasius
The spirit-pupilship could work with power
Within the human soul. What thus I saw
Robbed me of faith in science and good sense,
And yet it showed me nothing at that time
Which really seemed to me intelligent.
I turned away from all the realm of thought
And went on living in an aimless way
Since life had ceased to be of worth to me.
I gave myself to technical pursuits
To bring oblivion and forgetfulness,
And lived a life of torment, till once more
I met thee; and we grew good friends.
Theodora:
It is but natural, that on this day
Remembrance of those old times should again
Stand out so vividly before thy soul.
I also feel a need in mine own heart
To look back once again upon those days
When we were drawn together in life's bond.
I felt the constant strengthening at that time
Within me of the power which made my soul
Able for knowledge from the spirit-worlds.
And under Felix Balde's noble lead
This power grew on thenceforward to that height
At which it stood just seven years ago.
About that time I met Capesius
One day in Felix' lonely woodland home.
A long life had he spent in deep research
And won his way to spirit-pupilship.
He greatly wished to be allowed to learn
My way of gazing on the spirit-world.
So after that I spent much time with him.
And in this house I chanced to meet with thee
And could bring healing to thy mental wounds.
Strader:
And then the true light shone into my soul
Which long had only gazed upon the dark.
I saw at last what spirit is, in truth.
Thou ledd'st me on in such a way to see
What was disclosed to thee from higher worlds,
That every doubt might swiftly disappear.
All this at that time worked so much on me
That first I thought of thee as nothing else
Except a medium for the spirit's work.
It was a long while e'er I recognized
That not my mind alone hung on thy words,
Which did reveal to it its true abode;
But that my heart was taken captive too
And could no longer live without thee near.
Theodora:
Then didst thou tell me that which thou didst feel
And all thy words were in so strange a form;
It seemed as if thou never hadst one thought
That all the longing dwelling in thy heart
Could even hope it might be satisfied.
Thy words showed clearly that it was advice
That thou wast seeking from thy sister-soul.
Thou spakst of help which thou didst then require
And of the strengthening of thy powers of soul
Which otherwise must keep thee prison-bound.
Strader:
That my soul's messenger could be by fate
Destined to be companion of my life
Lay very far from all I had in mind
When, seeking help, I showed my heart to thee.
Theodora:
And yet the words that heart from heart unloosed,
How soon they proved that this must be our way.
Hearts often have to point the way to fate.
Strader:
And when thy heart pronounced the fateful word
My soul was flooded o'er with waves of life
Which, though I could not feel or know them then;
'Twas not till later, when my memory
Rose from the depths of my subconscious soul,
That they fulfilled themselves in rays of light.
I could know all, from what my mem'ry taught,
But could not live it then, because so much
Still held me far apart from spirit-life.
'Twas then indeed I first became aware
Of spirit in close contact with my soul.
Ne'er have I felt like that again; and yet
That knowledge gave to me a certainty
That hath illuminated all my life—
And then flowed on these seven wondrous years.
I learned to feel how e'en mechanic skill
Which now I study, is enriched by souls
Whose attitude t'ward spirit-life is right.
'Twas through the spirit-power which thou couldst give
Kindling my life that I should so perceive
The hidden world of forces whence quite suddenly
As if it had been prompted, there appeared
Before my wondering spirit, that new work
From which we now may dare to hope so much.
Thus in thy light I felt within my soul
The full awakening of all those powers
Which would have perished, had I lived alone.
This certainty of life which I had won
Let me stand upright then, just at that time
When, in such startling wise, Thomasius
Condemned before the Rose Cross brotherhood
The work of his own brain, and cast himself
Adrift, with judgment hard, just at that hour
Which could have brought him to his life's full height
This inner certainty could hold me fast
Then all the outer world seemed to reveal
Naught but a mass of contradicting facts.
Through thee alone have I gained all this power.
The spirit-revelation which thou gav'st
Brought me the sense of knowledge I had won;
And when the revelation came no more
Thou still didst stay my strength and light of soul.
Theodora (in a broken sentence, as if meditating deeply):
Then when the revelation came no more ...
Strader:
'Tis that which often made me sorrowful.
I wondered if 'twere not deep pain to thee
To lose thy noble power of seership,
And whether thou didst suffer silently,
Lest I should grieve: and yet thy temperament
Showed thou couldst bear with calmness fate's decree
But lately thou hast seemed to me to change,
Joy no more streams from thee as heretofore
And thine eye's glowing light begins to fade.
Theodora:
Indeed it could not be deep pain to me
When spirit-revelation disappeared.
My fate had only changed my way of life;
Which I must needs accept with patience calm—
But now 'tis born once more, and brings great grief.
Strader:
This is the first time in these seven years
I cannot fathom Theodora's mind:
For each experience of spirit-life
Was such a source of inward joy to thee.
Theodora:
Quite different is the revelation now.—
At first, as then, I feel myself constrained
To drive away all thought that is mine own;
But where, before, after some little time
When I achieved this inward emptiness
A gentle light did hover round my soul
And spirit-pictures wished to form themselves;
There come now unseen feelings of disgust;
Which come in such a way that I am sure
The power I feel within comes from without—
Then fear I cannot banish pours itself
Into my life and governs all my soul—
And gladly would I flee from that dread
Shape that is invisible, and yet abhorred.
It tries to reach me with its evil will
And I can only hate what is revealed.
Strader:
With Theodora 'tis not possible.
They say that what one thus lives through, is but
The mirrored working of one's own soul-powers.
Yet thy soul could not show such things as these.
Theodora (painfully, slowly, as if reflecting):
I know indeed that such ideas are held—
Therefore with all the power that still was mine
I sank into the spirit-world and prayed
That those same beings who so oft before
Were kind to me, would graciously reveal
How I could learn the cause of all my pain.
(Now follow in broken words):
And then ... the shining Light ... came ... as before
And formed ... the image ... of an earthly man. ...
It was ... Thomasius.
Strader (painfully, overcome by the quick inrush of feelings):
... Thomasius ...
The man in whom I always have believed. ...
(Pause, then meditating painfully)
When I again recall before my soul
How he behaved towards the Mystic League.
How of himself and Ahriman he spake—
(Theodora is lost in contemplation, and stares blankly into space, as if her spirit were absent.)
O Theodora ... what dost thou ... see now? ...
Curtain
Viertes Bild
Ein Zimmer in rosenrotem Grundton. Es gehört zum Heim Straders und Theodoras, die Straders Gattin ist. Man sieht der Einrichtung an, daß Theodora und Strader hier im gemeinsamen Raume verschiedenartige Arbeiten verrichten. Auf seinem Tische finden sich Modelle von Mechanismen, auf dem ihren mancherlei auf Mystik Bezügliches. Die beiden sind in einem Gespräch, das eine Art gemeinsame Versenkung am siebenten Jahrestage ihrer Ehe darstellt.
Strader:
An diesem Tage sind es sieben Jahre,
Seit du Gefährtin meines Lebens mir
Und auch der Quell geworden bist des Lichtes,
Das auf ein Dasein leuchtet, dem sich früher
Nur Finsternis bedrohlich nähern wollte.
Ich war ein geistig armer Mann, als du
An meine Seite tratest und mir gabst,
Was mir vorher die Welt stets vorenthielt.
Ich hatte viele Jahre ernst gestrebt,
Im Sinne strenger Wissenschaft zu forschen
Nach Lebenswerten und nach Daseinszielen.
Ich mußte eines Tages klar erkennen,
Daß dieses Streben ganz vergeblich war.
Durch dich ward mir gezeigt, wie sich der Geist
In einem Menschen über solche Dinge
Zu offenbaren sucht, die meinem Wissen
Und meinem Denkerstreben sich entzogen.
Ich sah dich damals in dem Kreis von Menschen,
In welchem Benedictus Führer war;
Ich durfte deiner Offenbarung lauschen.
Ich konnte an Thomasius dann später
Erkennen, wie die Geistesschülerschaft
In einer Menschenseele machtvoll wirkt.
Was ich dadurch erlebte, raubte mir
den Glauben an Vernunft und Wissenschaft
und zeigte doch in jener Zeit mir nichts,
das mir verständlich hätte scheinen können.
Ich wandte mich von allem Denken ab
und wollte dumpf das Leben weiterführen,
das mir nun nicht mehr lebenswert erschien.
Die Technik, der ich mich ergab, sie sollte
vergessen und Betäubung mir verschaffen.
Und ich erlebte ein zerquältes Dasein,
bis ich zum zweiten Male dir begegnete,
und wir dann bald auch gute Freunde wurden.
Theodora:
Begreiflich ist’s, daß dir an diesem Tage
Erinnerung die alten Zeiten wieder
so lebhaft vor die Seele stellen kann.
Auch meinem Herzen ist’s Bedürfnis, heute
den Blick zurück zu jener Zeit zu wenden,
in welcher wir zum Lebensbund uns fanden.
Ich fühlte damals stetig sich verstärken
die Kraft, die meine Seele fähig machte,
aus Geisteswelten Wissen zu empfangen.
Und unter Felix Baldes edler Führung
erwuchs dann diese Kraft zu jener Höhe,
auf welcher sie vor sieben Jahren war.
Ich traf in dieser Zeit Capesius
einmal in Felix’ Waldeseinsamkeit.
Er hatte sich nach langem Forscherleben
zur Geistesschülerschaft hindurchgekämpft.
Er fand es wichtig, sich bekannt zu machen
mit meiner Art, die Geisteswelt zu schauen.
Ich war dann später oft mit ihm zusammen.
In seinem Hause durft’ ich dir begegnen
und deinen Wissensschmerzen Heilung bringen.
Strader:
Und wahres Licht empfing so meine Seele,
die lange nur in Finsternis geblickt.
Ich sah nun, was der Geist in Wahrheit ist.
Du liessest mich in solcher Art erkennen,
was dir aus höhern Welten sich erschloss,
daß alle Zweifel schnell verschwinden konnten.
Dies alles wirkte damals so auf mich,
daß ich fürwahr zuerst in dir nichts andres
als nur den Mittler für den Geist erblickte.
Es brauchte lange Zeit, bis ich erkannte,
daß nicht allein mein Geist den Worten lauschte,
die seine wahre Heimat ihm enthüllten;
daß auch mein Herz dem Sprecher sich ergab
und seine Nähe nicht entbehren konnte.
Theodora:
Und dann vertrautest du mir, was du fühltest.
So sonderbar war, wie du alles sagtest.
es war, als ob nicht Ein Gedanke dir
sich hätte bilden können an Erfüllung
der Sehnsucht, die in deinem Herzen lebte.
So waren deine Worte, die nur Rat
sich suchen wollten bei der Seelenfreundin.
Du sprachst von Hilfe, die dir nötig sei,
und auch von Stärkung deiner Seelenkräfte,
die dich in schwerer Lage halten müssten.
Strader:
Daß mir der Geistesbote als Gefährtin
vom Schicksal wirklich vorbestimmt sein könnte,
dies lag recht ferne allem, was ich dachte,
als ich mich hilfesuchend dir eröffnet.
Theodora:
Und wie ergaben doch die Worte dann,
die Herz vom Herzen loszulösen wußte,
gar bald, daß dies nicht anders könnte sein.
Die Herzen müssen oft das Schicksal deuten.
Strader:
Und als dein Herz das Schicksalswort gesprochen,
durchzogen meine Seele Lebenswellen,
die ich nicht fühlen konnte, als sie waren,
die erst viel später als Erinnerung
aus Seelen-Untergründen sich erhoben
und dann wie Licht-Erstrahlen sich erfühlten.
Und wissen konnte ich, an was ich mich
erinnern, doch es nicht erleben konnte,
weil vieles mich noch trennt’ vom Geist-Erleben.
Es war das erste Mal, daß ich den Geist
unmittelbar in meiner Seele wußte.
Es hat sich mir nicht wiederholt; und doch,
es konnte wahrlich mir Gewißheit geben,
die auf ein ganzes Leben lichtvoll strahlt.
Und dann verflossen sieben schöne Jahre.
Ich durfte fühlen, wie Mechanik selbst,
Der ich jetzt diene, sich befruchten lässt
von Seelen, die zur Geisteswelt sich recht
zu stellen wissen. Nur die Geistgewalt,
die lebenfördernd du mir geben konntest,
ließ mich das Kräftestreben so durchschauen,
daß mir, wie eingegeben, jene Schöpfung
ganz plötzlich vor den Geist sich stellen konnte,
von welcher man wohl vieles hoffen darf.
In deinem Lichte fühlte meine Seele
die Kräfte voll erwachsen, die in ihr
verfallen wären, wenn nur sie allein gelebt.
Die Lebenssicherheit, die mir geworden,
sie ließ mich aufrecht stehen damals selbst,
als vor den Rosenkreuzern so erschütternd
Thomasius die eigne Wissenstat
verdammte und mit hartem Urteil sich
verwarf in jener Stunde, welche ihn
zu seiner Lebenshöhe bringen wollte.
Es konnte innre Sicherheit mich halten,
als mir die Aussenwelt ein Übermaß
an Widerspruch zu offenbaren schien.
und alles dies hast du allein gegeben.
Erst brachte mir die Geistesoffenbarung,
die ich durch dich empfing, erstrebtes Wissen;
Und als die Offenbarung nicht mehr kam,
verbliebst du doch als stärkend Seelenlicht.
Theodora wie tiefsinnend als abgebrochener Satz:
Als dann die Offenbarung nicht mehr kam ...
Strader:
Das ist’s, was mir oft schwere Sorgen machte.
Ich fragte mich, ob dir nicht tiefer Schmerz
erwachse durch Verlust des Sehertums
Und du, um mich zu schonen, schweigend leidest;
doch deines Wesens Gleichmass zeigte mir,
daß du die Schicksalsfügung ruhig trägst.
Nur in den letzten Zeiten bist du anders;
der Frohsinn strahlt um dich nicht mehr wie früher,
und deines Auges glimmend Licht verfällt.
Theodora:
Daß mir die Geistesoffenbarung schwand,
es konnte mir fürwahr nicht schmerzlich sein.
Es hat das Schicksal meinen Weg geändert;
das mußte ich gelassen auf mich nehmen.
Doch ist sie mir recht schmerzvoll neu geworden.
Strader:
Zum erstenmal in diesen sieben Jahren
ist Theodora unverständlich mir.
Es war dir jedes Geisterlebnis doch
zugleich ein Quell der innern Seligkeit.
Theodora:
Ganz anders ist die Offenbarung jetzt.
Zuerst empfinde ich, wie früher, mich
genötigt, eignes Denken auszuschalten;
doch während ehemals nach kurzer Zeit,
wenn Leerheit meines Innern mir gelungen,
ein sanftes Licht die Seele mir umwob
und sich der Geist zu Bildern formen wollte,
erzeugt sich jetzt unsichtbar widrig Fühlen;
doch so, daß ich genau erkennen kann,
die Kraft, die ich empfinde, kommt von aussen.
Und Furcht ergiesst sich dann in mein Erleben,
die ich nicht bannen kann, die mich beherrscht.
Und fliehen möchte ich vor jenem Wesen,
das mir unsichtbar, doch abscheulich ist.
Es will zu mir sich wunscherfüllt bewegen;
und hassen muß ich, was sich offenbart.
Strader:
Unmöglich scheint doch dies bei Theodora.
Man hält, was so erlebt wird, sonst für Wirkung
der eignen Seelenkräfte, die sich spiegeln.
Doch deine Seele kann sich so nicht zeigen.
Theodora schmerzvoll, langsam, nachdenklich:
Es ist mir diese Meinung wohl bekannt.
Deshalb versenkt’ ich mich mit aller Kraft,
die meiner Seele jetzt noch übrig ist,
inbrünstig in die Geisterwelt und bat,
es möchten mir die Wesen, die vorher
sich oft mir neigten, gnädig offenbaren,
wie ich die Gründe meines Leides finde.
Nun folgen abgerissene Worte.
Und da ... erschien der ... Lichtesschein ... wie … früher
Er ... formte ... sich zum Bilde eines ... Menschen ...
es war ... Thomasius.
Strader schmerzlich, von rasch sich einstellenden Empfindungen beherrscht:
... Thomasius ...
Der Mensch, an den ich immer glauben möchte …
Pause, dann schmerzlich nachdenkend:
Wenn ich mir vor die Seele rufen wollte,
wie er dem Mystenbunde gegenüber ...
wie er von Ahriman und sich gesprochen...
Strader:
O Theodora ... was erblickst du ... jetzt...
Vorhang fällt.
Scene Four
A room with a rose-red color scheme. It belongs to Strader and Theodora, Strader's wife. The furnishings indicate that Theodora and Strader perform different types of work here in their shared space. On his desk are models of mechanisms, while hers contains various items related to mysticism. The two are engaged in a conversation that represents a kind of shared contemplation on the seventh anniversary of their marriage.
Strader:
On this day, it has been seven years
Since you became my life partner
And also the source of light
That shines on an existence that previously
Was threatened only by darkness.
I was a spiritually poor man when you
Came to my side and gave me
What the world had always denied me.
For many years I had earnestly striven
To research in the spirit of strict science
For values in life and goals in existence.
One day I had to clearly recognize
That this striving was completely in vain.
Through you, I was shown how the spirit
In a human being seeks to reveal itself
Through things that eluded my knowledge
And my intellectual striving.
I saw you then in the circle of people,
In which Benedictus was the leader;
I was allowed to listen to your revelation.
Later, through Thomasius, I was able to recognize
How the spiritual discipleship
Works powerfully in a human soul.
What I experienced as a result robbed me
of my faith in reason and science
and yet showed me nothing at that time
that could have seemed understandable to me.
I turned away from all thinking
and wanted to continue living a dull life,
which now no longer seemed worth living to me.
The technology to which I surrendered was supposed to
bring me oblivion and numbness.
And I experienced a tormented existence
until I met you for the second time,
and we soon became good friends.
Theodora:
It is understandable that on this day
memories of the old days
can come back to your mind so vividly.
My heart also feels the need today
to look back to that time
when we found each other for life.
At that time, I felt a steady increase
in the power that enabled my soul
to receive knowledge from spiritual worlds.
And under Felix Balde's noble guidance,
this power grew to the level it was at seven years ago.
During this time, I met Capesius
once in Felix's forest solitude.
After a long life of research,
he had fought his way through to become a spiritual student.
He thought it was important to familiarize himself
with my way of seeing the spiritual world.
Later, I was often together with him.
In his house, I was allowed to meet you
and bring healing to your pains of knowledge.
Strader:
And so my soul received true light,
which for a long time had only looked into darkness.
I now saw what the spirit truly is.
You let me recognize in such a way
what was revealed to you from higher worlds,
that all doubts could quickly disappear.
All this had such an effect on me at that time
that at first I truly saw in you nothing else
but the mediator for the spirit.
It took a long time before I realized
that it was not only my spirit that listened to the words
that revealed its true home to it;
that my heart also surrendered to the speaker
and could not do without his presence.
Theodora:
And then you confided in me what you felt.
It was so strange how you said everything.
It was as if not a single thought
could have formed in you about the fulfillment
of the longing that lived in your heart.
Such were your words, which only sought advice
from your soulmate.
You spoke of help that you needed,
and also of strengthening your soul's powers,
which would have to keep you in a difficult situation.
Strader:
That the messenger of the spirit could really
be predestined by fate to be my companion,
this was quite far from anything I thought
when I opened up to you in search of help.
Theodora:
And how the words then revealed,
which knew how to detach the heart from the heart,
very soon that it could not be otherwise.
Hearts must often interpret fate.
Strader:
And when your heart spoke the word of fate,
waves of life swept through my soul,
which I could not feel when they were there,
which only much later rose as memories
from the depths of my soul
and then felt like rays of light.
And I could know what I could remember,
but could not experience it,
because much still separates me from spiritual experience.
It was the first time that I knew the spirit
directly in my soul.
It has not happened again; and yet,
it could truly give me certainty
which shines brightly on a whole life.
And then seven beautiful years passed.
I was allowed to feel how mechanics itself,
which I now serve, allows itself to be fertilized
by souls who know how to position themselves correctly in the spiritual world. Only the spiritual power that you were able to give me, which promotes life,
allowed me to see through the striving for power so clearly that, as if inspired, that creation
let me see through the striving for power so clearly,
that, as if inspired, that creation
could suddenly appear before my mind,
from which one can hope for so much.
In your light, my soul felt
the powers fully grown that would have decayed within it
if it had lived alone.
The security of life that became mine
enabled me to stand upright even then,
when Thomasius so shockingly
condemned his own knowledge
before the Rosicrucians
and rejected himself with harsh judgment
at that hour which would have brought him
to the height of his life.
Inner security could hold me,
when the outside world seemed to reveal an excess
of contradiction to me.
And you alone gave me all this.
First, the spiritual revelation
that I received through you brought me the knowledge I sought;
And when the revelation no longer came,
you remained as strengthening light for the soul.
Theodora how profound as an unfinished sentence:
When the revelation no longer came ...
Strader:
That is what often caused me great concern.
I wondered whether you were not suffering deep pain
from the loss of your vision
and whether you were suffering in silence to spare me;
but the evenness of your nature showed me
that you were calmly bearing the hand of fate.
Only in recent times have you been different;
cheerfulness no longer radiates around you as it used to,
and the glowing light in your eyes is fading.
Theodora:
That my spiritual revelation faded away,
could not truly be painful for me.
Fate has changed my path;
I had to accept that calmly.
But it has become quite painful for me.
Strader:
For the first time in these seven years,
Theodora is incomprehensible to me.
Every spiritual experience was for you
at the same time a source of inner bliss.
Theodora:
The revelation is completely different now.
At first, as before, I feel
compelled to switch off my own thinking;
but whereas in the past, after a short time,
when I succeeded in emptying my inner self,
a gentle light enveloped my soul
and the spirit wanted to form itself into images,
now an invisible adverse feeling arises;
but in such a way that I can clearly recognize
that the power I feel comes from outside.
And then fear pours into my experience,
which I cannot banish, which dominates me.
And I want to flee from that being,
which is invisible to me, yet abominable.
It wants to move toward me, its desire fulfilled;
and I must hate what is revealed.
Strader:
This seems impossible with Theodora.
One would otherwise consider such an experience to be the effect
of one's own soul forces being reflected.
But your soul cannot reveal itself in this way.
Theodora painfully, slowly, thoughtfully:
I am well aware of this opinion.
That is why I immersed myself with all the strength
that my soul still has left,
fervently in the spirit world and asked
that the beings who had often inclined toward me before might graciously reveal to me
how I might find the reasons for my suffering.
Now follow broken words.
And then ... the ... light appeared ... as ... before
He ... formed ... himself into the image of a ... human being ...
it was ... Thomasius.
Strader painfully, dominated by rapidly arising feelings:
...
Thomasius ...
The person I always want to believe in ...
Pause, then thinking painfully:
If I wanted to recall to my soul
how he spoke of the Mystic Brotherhood ...
how he spoke of Ahriman and himself ...
Strader:
O Theodora ... what do you see ... now...
Curtain falls.